Legend Management Bureau Chapter 155

[ … words ]

“This isn’t a matter of principle, God,” Izanagi said with absolute seriousness. “Hairpins are hairpins, and grapes are grapes. These two things cannot be mixed up.”

“Damn it…” Du Yu sighed helplessly. What was he supposed to do now?

As long as Izanagi himself didn’t say it out loud, this plan couldn’t be executed.

His eyes darted around, and suddenly, he had an idea.

“Izanagi, repeat the phrase ‘hairpins are hairpins, and grapes are grapes’ ten times in a row for me.”

“Huh?? Why?”

“Just say it when I tell you to!” Du Yu bellowed. “I am ‘God’! You need to listen to me!”

“Alright…” Izanagi nodded. “Hairpins are hairpins, and grapes are grapes. That’s one.”

“One my ass! Do you not understand what ‘in a row’ means?!”

Izanagi hurriedly apologized to Du Yu, then started repeating it properly: “Hairpins are hairpins, grapes are grapes. Hairpins are hairpins, grapes are grapes. Hairpins are hairpins, grapes are grapes. Hairpins are hairpins, grapes are grapes. Hairpins are grapes…”

“Yes, exactly!” Du Yu shouted. “Hairpins are grapes! You finally said it, damn it!”

“Eh??” Izanagi froze. Just as he was about to argue, Du Yu snatched the hairpin right off his head and hurled it far into the distance.

The moment the hairpin hit the ground, it immediately took root and sprouted into a massive vineyard.

However, the horde of female ghosts was right in the heat of battle; absolutely none of them paid any attention to the grapes. Forget a giant patch of grapes, even if a massive field of handsome men had sprouted up, it probably wouldn’t have made a difference.

Du Yu saw that it completely failed to produce an effect. Who would suddenly run off to eat grapes while fighting for their lives?

He thought for a moment before saying to Izanagi, “Izanagi, I bet there is something wrong with your tongue.”

“God! What are you talking about? There is nothing wrong with my tongue!”

“No, no, no, there is definitely an issue. I bet you can’t even say a tongue twister.”

“Nonsense! Say a tongue twister right now, and I can repeat it instantly.”

“Oh, really? Let’s make a deal then. If you can’t say it, you are an idiot.”

“Don’t worry, God. I will definitely be able to say it!”

Du Yu was just about to say the tongue twister when Qu Xi flew over and delivered a swift kick to him.

“Hey?! What was that for?!” Du Yu was stunned.

“Du Yu! Are you sick in the head? Is this the time for a comedy routine?!”

“Who the hell is doing a comedy routine?!” Du Yu quickly pulled Qu Xi aside and whispered, “We are at a critical moment here, don’t interrupt!”

Under Qu Xi’s watchful gaze, Du Yu turned back to Izanagi and articulated every word clearly: “The tongue twister is, ‘Eat the grapes but don’t spit the skins, the female ghosts all go eat the grapes.’ There is no way you can repeat that.”

Qu Xi blinked. Why was there an extra half-sentence tacked onto the end of that?

Izanagi looked entirely unconvinced and mirrored Du Yu’s words: “Why wouldn’t I be able to learn that? Listen here: Eat the grapes but don’t spit the skins, the female ghosts all go eat the grapes…”

“Beautiful!” Du Yu clapped his hands together, then spun around and roared to the others behind him. “Retreat!!”

The group was taken aback, but then they saw all the female ghosts bizarrely scramble over to the vineyard, dropping to the ground to gorge on the grapes. Seizing the chance, the group quickly withdrew their divine powers and fled.

Even though Izanagi had no idea what had just happened, he had no choice but to run along with the rest of them.

Izanami was practically trembling with rage. “To think these female ghosts failed to catch my husband because they were too busy greedily eating grapes… Unforgivable!”

Hearing that, Du Yu knew they were in the clear. Since both Izanagi and Izanami had verbally acknowledged it, those female ghosts were probably going to eat until they burst.

The group ran for a bit before realizing something was wrong. Why were there still footsteps trailing behind them?

Zhan Qisheng glanced back. The female ghosts might have been dealt with, but there was still a massive army of Underworld Soldiers right on their heels!

“Old Du, are you stupid? If you were already tricking Izanagi into speaking, why didn’t you just control the Underworld Soldiers too?”

“Old Zhan, now you’re just being unreasonable. I came up with that idea by the skin of my teeth! It’s perfectly normal for it to have a few loopholes.”

“Save your breath and run!” Zhan Qisheng urged. “There are simply too many of them, my spiritual energy won’t hold out much longer.”

The group pushed forward for a while longer until they finally reached the border of Yomotsu Hirasaka. Izanagi told them that as long as they slipped through the cavern entrance up ahead, they could leave the Underworld.

Although everyone realized this path was completely different from the one they had taken to get here, since Izanagi had said it out loud, it would definitely become reality.

However, before they could even reach the entrance, the Underworld army descended upon them, completely surrounding the group and blocking their escape.

“Asuka, can we still get out of this?” Du Yu asked frantically.

“We can!” Shiranui Asuka replied. “According to the legends, Izanagi plucks three peaches and throws them at the Underworld army, causing all of them to retreat in fear.”

“Beautiful!” Du Yu roared. “Like hell I’m going to believe that nonsense! There are thousands of them here, and they’re going to be driven off by three peaches?!?”

“But that is exactly what the legends say!”

“If I knew who wrote that legend, I’d go strangle them right now…”

Seeing the encirclement growing tighter and tighter, Qu Xi hurriedly snapped at Du Yu, “Stop obsessing over the details and find some peaches!”

The group looked around, but they were surrounded by Underworld soldiers on all sides. Where on earth were they supposed to find peaches at a time like this?

“There’s no other way…” Du Yu sighed. If he wanted a peach tree to grow out of thin air, he would have to use that trick again. “Izanagi, I bet there is still something wrong with your tongue!”

“God, it is far too dangerous right now. I do not wish to make a bet with you.”

“Gahhhhh!” Du Yu screamed in absolute frustration, wanting nothing more than to strangle Izanagi first. “Why are you chickening out now?! Bet with me!”

“No, no, no, we must deal with the enemy first.”

Just as Du Yu was about to die of pure rage, Shiranui Asuka suddenly cried out, “Ah! I found some hetao, some walnuts!”

“Did you say tao, as in peaches? Quick, bring them here! I’ll figure something out!” Du Yu said.

“Senior Du Yu, I didn’t say tao, peaches. I said hetao, walnuts…”

“Are you messing with me?!” Du Yu practically broke down. “Are those two even the same thing?!”

“Ugh! Senior Du Yu! We’re surrounded, and this is the only fruit tree I could find! Just make do with them!” Shiranui Asuka finished speaking, plucked three walnuts from the tree, and shoved them into Du Yu’s hands.

“Asuka, if you had picked six walnuts, maybe they would have at least been good brain food.” Du Yu stared helplessly at the three walnuts in his hands, genuinely at a loss as to how he was supposed to use them to repel thousands of enemies.

Du Yu steeled his heart, resolving to take one last gamble.

“Izanagi, do you know what this is? This is a hetao, a walnut. Throw it out there, and it can repel these thousands of soldiers!” Du Yu said.

“A tao? A peach?” Izanagi asked blankly.

“Not just a peach, a hetao,” Du Yu forced himself to say. “This thing is incredibly powerful. Just try throwing it.”

“Really?”

Izanagi quickly took the three walnuts from Du Yu’s hands. He pondered for a brief moment, then hurled them toward the massive horde of the Underworld army.

Du Yu felt like Izanagi had genuinely believed him. Maybe this would actually work.

Zhan Qisheng, however, sensed that something was terribly wrong. As the three walnuts flew through the air, for some inexplicable reason, they generated an unimaginably massive surge of energy. Crackling with arcs of lightning, they drifted slowly toward the Underworld army.

“Oh no!”

Zhan Qisheng roared, instantly pulling a massive bronze bell from his robes to completely envelop the group.

Yingning materialized out of nowhere, seemingly having also sensed the terrifying energy contained within those three walnuts. Inside the bronze bell, she erected layer after layer of ice walls, continuously channeling her magic power into them with a deeply grave expression.

“Wh-what’s going on?”

Before Du Yu and the others could fully process what was happening, a blinding flash of an explosion erupted in the distance where the three walnuts landed. Immediately after, a miniature mushroom cloud began to slowly rise into the sky.

Zhan Qisheng and Yingning instantly unleashed their magic at full force, desperately bracing themselves against the terrifying shockwave.

The heat from the blast was overwhelming. If not for Yingning’s protective ice walls, the group would have been incinerated into absolute nothingness.

The shockwave raged for a full minute before it finally dissipated. By then, every single Underworld soldier had been wiped from existence, reduced to nothing but ash.

Zhan Qisheng and Yingning withdrew their magic, both utterly exhausted and on the verge of collapse. Shiranui Asuka hurriedly checked on them and found that both of them had completely overdrawn their spiritual energy.

What the hell was that just now?!

Du Yu had been scared half to death. It took everything he had just to regain his senses. With a trembling finger, he pointed directly at Izanagi and screamed:

“Are you insane?! I told you, that thing is a hetao, a walnut! A walnut, do you understand?! The he doesn’t stand for nuclear! It’s not a nuclear peach! Are you seriously chucking barehanded nuclear bombs right now?!”

Du Yu genuinely couldn’t wrap his head around it. Izanagi didn’t even know what a ‘handsome guy’ was, yet his understanding of the word ‘nuclear’ was this incredibly profound?!

Was this the legendary ‘manual nuclear fusion’?!

Izanagi, however, acted as if he hadn’t heard a word Du Yu said. He just clapped his hands to himself and said, “Wow, God, those three peaches you gave me were really amazing.”

“They were walnuts!” A wave of delayed terror washed over Du Yu. Izanagi had genuinely believed those things were just peaches—that was way too dangerous. “Are you selectively deaf?!”

In the distance, Izanami slowly walked over. “To think you repelled my Underworld army using three peaches… I see… So peaches can drive away ghosts, is that it?”

Du Yu froze. What the heck kind of logic was this?!

Shiranui Asuka patted Du Yu’s shoulder from the side and said, “Amazing, isn’t it, Senior Du Yu? This is the actual origin of using peach wood to ward off evil!”

“I’m going to lose my mind! Every single one of you is crazy! Stop giving me history lessons right now and run!”

Seeing that the group was about to flee, Izanami immediately lunged forward to attack them.

But the group had already prepared to bolt. Turning around, they plunged straight into the cavern entrance.

Izanami was just about to chase them out when Izanagi suddenly roared, “Once you pass through this entrance, you are no longer in the Underworld! You will die if you come out!”

Hearing those words, Du Yu hurriedly clapped his hands in approval. “You finally learned how to talk tough, kid! Excellent!”

Sure enough, Izanami slowed her steps and stopped entirely.