Legend Management Bureau Chapter 455

[ … words ]

“Beep-beep-beep, beep-beep-beep!”

A mobile phone rang, and Du Yu slowly opened his eyes.

“Damn it, who is so blind…” He picked up his mobile phone and looked at it. The words “Third Master Ox Head” were glaringly displayed on the screen.

“Hello?” Du Yu answered impatiently. “What is it? I can’t even get a moment of peace to sleep in the car…”

“Are you asking for a beating, you Young Kid?!” Ox Head barked angrily. “Do you have any idea whose blessing you relied on to become a Ferryman? Huh?”

Du Yu sighed helplessly and said, “Yes, yes, yes, Third Master, everything you say is correct. Hurry up and tell me, what are your orders for today?”

However, Ox Head seemed to have forgotten what he wanted to say. He could only pull a long face and complain, “I was really fooled by you, Young Kid… If I hadn’t taken pity on you, why would I have pawned my Magical Treasure to exchange for a Ferry Vehicle for you… It’s just a pity about my Magical Treasure…”

“Third Master, if you don’t have anything else to say, I’m going to hang up.” Du Yu shook his head and said, “I’ve heard these words over ten thousand times. Can you blame me for you being so ‘impeccable’? Eighty percent of the money from that pawn went to paying off your own gambling debts, and twenty percent went to buying me this minivan. If you try to threaten me with this, I’ll have no choice but to go to the King of Hell…”

“Don’t, don’t, don’t! Let’s talk things over, Brother Du!” Ox Head hurriedly offered an apologetic smile. “Hehe, I just wanted to spur you on a little! Enough nonsense, we have a job!”

“Looks like a foreigner,” Ox Head said. “Didn’t Horse Face develop an app for me a while ago? That ‘Ghostly Hearse’ thing. Someone actually placed an order on it, but the number looks unfamiliar, like a foreign number.”

“So?” Du Yu lit a cigarette and said, “Your platform sounds so official. Is it really appropriate to hire an illegal Ferryman like me?”

“Then what else can I do?” Ox Head grumbled. “Should I let the people from Old Seven and Old Eight’s families go? My platform isn’t exactly official either!”

Du Yu exhaled a puff of smoke, pondered for a moment, and said, “Alright, give me the location, I’ll go pick them up.”

“Let’s get this straight first, Brother Du. A forty-sixty split.”

Du Yu shook his head. “Third Master, you are too unreasonable. How can you ask for forty percent? Let’s make it ninety-ten. I’ll give you ten percent as a finder’s fee.”

“Are you asking for a beating, Young Kid?!” Ox Head yelled angrily. “Who exactly gets sixty and who gets forty? I already gave you a vehicle, and you’re still trying to scam me out of money?”

“Sigh… Right, right, right. Third Master’s great kindness and virtue, your little brother will easily forget it as long as he lives.”

“That’s more like… wait,” Ox Head paused. “Did you just mess up that idiom?”

“Third Master, are we going to talk about business or not?”

“Oh! Right, back to business. Brother Du, you need to buy a Translation Talisman in advance. Just in case the other party really is a foreign Immortal Being, we don’t want any language barriers.”

Du Yu scratched his head upon hearing this and said, “That works… but this Translation Talisman needs to be reimbursed…”

“You Young Kid are truly a cheapskate!”

…

Du Yu bought a second-hand Translation Talisman, wrote up a receipt for ten times the price, and then drove his vehicle to the agreed location.

To his surprise, a young girl wearing a kimono was standing there.

After parking the dilapidated minivan, Du Yu got out and opened the car door for the girl.

“Hello, Ghostly Hearse at your service. Please get in,” Du Yu said politely.

The girl bowed slightly and said, “Thank you very much for your trouble.”

“You’re welcome.”

The girl was taken aback when she heard this. “Senior, can you understand the Fusang language?”

“Oh! Right!” Du Yu hurriedly took out the Translation Talisman from the minivan’s glove compartment and said, “I almost damn well forgot. Miss, you can communicate with us by carrying this.”

The girl extended both hands and solemnly received the Translation Talisman, then bowed once more and said, “Thank you ever so much.”

“Take a seat, we are heading out,” Du Yu said.

The Fusang girl nodded.

Under her watchful gaze, she noticed that Du Yu tried to shift gears several times but failed to get it into gear.

“S-Senior… Do you really know how to drive?”

“Who the hell are you looking down on… I-I mean, you are overthinking it, Miss.” Du Yu smiled awkwardly. “I am a professional driver from a legitimate platform!”

The atmosphere between the two of them was quite awkward along the way.

The girl never expected that the vehicle she called using this ride-hailing app would be so dilapidated, and the driver looked like a scoundrel, not resembling a good person in the slightest.

“S… Senior… Are you a Huaxia Immortal Being?” the girl gathered her courage and asked.

“Close enough. I am quite familiar with the Huaxia Immortal Beings. We are all friends and can drink together when we have free time. If I need to borrow some money at a critical moment… it wouldn’t be too difficult,” Du Yu replied, glancing at the girl in the back through the rearview mirror.

“Oh… Then you really are a ‘Senior’… May I ask if the ‘Three Lifetimes Stone Pedestrian Street’ I am going to is a fun place?”

“Oh, of course it’s fun,” Du Yu said. “You look like you are from Fusang, right? When we get there later, I’ll let you get a good look at our Huaxia demeanor, and you will be constantly exclaiming ‘Sugoi, Sugoi’.”

“Hehe!” The girl gently covered her mouth. “Senior, your words are so funny.”

“Naturally, I…” Du Yu was about to take another look at the girl through the rearview mirror when he suddenly noticed another Ferry Vehicle following right behind him.

“Oh crap…” Du Yu hurriedly turned his head and said, “Little girl, quickly fasten your seatbelt. Our platform is gifting you a complimentary ‘drag racing service’!”

Before the girl could understand what was happening, Du Yu accelerated instantly, surprisingly executing a drifting U-turn in his run-down minivan.

“Vehicle in front, stop immediately! Vehicle in front, stop immediately!” A voice blared from a vehicle-mounted megaphone. “I am Xie Jin of the White Impermanence Xie Family! You are suspected of impersonating a Ferry Vehicle. Please pull over immediately for investigation.”

Seeing the minivan ahead speed away without a care in the world, Xie Jin stomped his feet in anger.

“Xiaoguo! After him! I saw it just now, it’s that ‘Illegal Ferryman Ah Yu’.”

“I told you so!!” A handsome man in white sitting in the back seat clapped his hands. “It’s definitely him. We absolutely have to catch him this time!”

After speaking, he nudged the man in black sitting next to him. “Right, Old Eight?”

“Boring…” The man addressed as Old Eight shook his head. “It seems you still aren’t busy enough, actually going out of your way to find me to chase down an illegal driver.”

Fan Xiaoguo, who was driving the car, also felt a bit puzzled upon hearing this and asked, “Seventh Ancestor, Ancestor… with your cultivation bases, you should be able to catch up to that vehicle in an instant… Why do the four of us have to chase him in a car…”

“How could that be the same?!” The person addressed as Seventh Ancestor said anxiously. “We have to defeat him at his own game to make him concede wholeheartedly! If Old Eight and I use our cultivation bases, wouldn’t that be bullying a mortal?!”

“But… but his strong suit might not necessarily be my strong suit…” Fan Xiaoguo said, feeling a bit troubled. “I might not be able to catch up…”

“Don’t be afraid, Xiaoguo!” Seventh Ancestor declared. “Out of all the younger generation in your Fan family, you are my favorite. If you don’t mind, I will accept you as my Adopted Sister right now. This title will grant you boundless strength.”

“Huh?!”

Du Yu floored the gas pedal, shifting up to sixth gear within the span of a hundred meters.

“Talk about bad luck… Passenger, make sure you hold on tight. We aren’t responsible for any bumps or bruises.”

The Fusang girl clung tightly to the handhold on the side of the minivan, her face filled with panic. “S-Senior… Who exactly is chasing us?”

“Two terrifying yin-yang freaks that shouldn’t be provoked. They’re incredibly annoying.”

The two minivans raced wildly through the Underworld, forming a bizarre spectacle.

“S… Senior, I’m going to throw up… Could you please drive a little slower…” the Fusang girl said, covering her mouth.

“I cannot! You being taken away is a small matter, but losing the vehicle is a massive problem!!”

“But I… Blergh!!!”

“Hey, hey, hey! If you throw up in the car, you have to pay for the damages!!”

Du Yu shook his head helplessly as he drifted the vehicle into a narrow alley.

“Miss, watch closely! This is Fengdu City!”

“Huh? This is… Blergh!!”

The vehicle accelerated madly, the scenery on both sides blurring as it sped past. The Fusang girl, who had come to sightsee, couldn’t see a single thing clearly.

“To your left, look closely, the River of Forgetfulness!!”

“To your right, look closely, the Gates of Hell!!”

“Behind us, look closely, the Terrace of Homeland Viewing!!”

Du Yu glanced in the rearview mirror and saw that they seemed to have shaken off that yin-yang vehicle. He hurriedly breathed a sigh of relief, drove to the deepest part of the alley, then got out and knocked on a door.

“Open up, open up, open up!!” Du Yu banged frantically on the door.

A man dressed in black slowly opened the door. He looked at the person in front of him with deep eyes and asked, “Old Du, what are you doing?”

“Old Zhan! Good morning! Quickly get me a plastic bag.”

The man addressed as Old Zhan curled his lips and opened the door wider. A dazzling array of goods inside the store caught Du Yu’s eyes. Behind the counter sat a smiling woman who appeared to be calculating the accounts.

“Du Yu, this is the ‘Vengeful Spirit Shop’, and you’re coming here to ask for a plastic bag? Go ask the Shen family’s Ancient Treasure Shop next door.”

“Now that’s just out of line! Compared to an Ancient Treasure Shop, the odds of your place having a plastic bag are definitely higher, aren’t they?” Du Yu was about to argue with Old Zhan for a bit when he noticed the person inside, forcing him to speak politely, “Oh, Sister-in-law Ying Ning is here too. Business has been good lately, hasn’t it? I knew Elder Pu handing this shop over to you two wouldn’t be a problem.”

Old Zhan stepped forward to block his view and said, “Don’t try to cozy up to us. I don’t have plastic bags, but I do have paper bags for housing Vengeful Spirits. Thirty Spirit Stones, are you buying or not?”

Du Yu sighed and could only say, “I’ll buy it. Give me one.”

Old Zhan turned around, grabbed a paper bag from the table, then glanced at Du Yu’s vehicle and asked, “Did you get yourself into some sort of trouble, Kid? Do you need any help?”

“You could say that…” Du Yu sighed helplessly. “What, do you have a way to fix it?”

“I don’t have any solutions,” Old Zhan shook his head. “I just heard that Dong Qianqiu, the Bureau Chief of the ‘Underworld Soul Management Bureau’, recruited a few powerful individuals over there. They are so poor they can barely put food on the table right now, so they’ve been taking on private jobs everywhere to help people sort out their troubles.”

“The Underworld Soul Management Bureau? Good heavens!” Du Yu exclaimed. “Isn’t that an official organization? They’ve actually started taking on private jobs… What kind of powerful individuals are we talking about?”

“I’m not sure about the exact details.” Old Zhan shook his head. “I heard a pair of Demonic Beast brothers arrived, as well as a banished Immortal Deity, and there seems to be a mortal actor too…”

“I wonder if they can handle the Black and White Impermanence?” Du Yu asked.

“The Black and White…” Old Zhan was stunned, then shook his head in resignation. “Listen, Old Du, when is this lifestyle of yours going to end? Even if you don’t think about yourself, you have to consider your stepsister, Qu Xi. You have a sharp mind. If worse comes to worst, go seek refuge with the Underworld Soul Management Bureau and let them find you an official position.”

Du Yu was deep in thought when he heard the sound of an approaching vehicle behind him.

“Crap, crap! Old Zhan, I’m taking off!”

“Oh…” He suddenly felt something wasn’t right. “Hey! Old Du! You haven’t paid yet!”

“Put it on Third Master’s tab!”

Du Yu hit the gas pedal again and bolted away.

He steered the wheel while handing the paper bag backward, saying, “Miss, if you really need to throw up, do it in the bag! Car washes are very expensive!”

“Oh… thank you, Senior…”

Just as they turned a corner, a person was standing squarely in the middle of the road. Du Yu had sharp eyes and quick hands; he immediately wrenched the steering wheel, swerving around the person.

However, that person coldly scoffed, flew into the air, and began rapidly flying alongside the minivan. When Du Yu got a clear look at the person’s face, a look of astonishment instantly appeared on his face.

“Eh? Sister Zhi?”

The person called Sister Zhi waved at Du Yu while flying. “You kid, get down here right now.”

Du Yu hurriedly replied, “I can’t get out right now. Whatever it is, just tell me directly. But let me make it clear first, I don’t know where Brother Lang is.”

“Who said I was looking for Cowherd?” Sister Zhi said crossly. “The Western Queen Mother asked me to inform you that the ‘Small Peach Banquet’ is about to be held soon. Foreign Immortal Beings and Huaxia Almighty Cultivators will be frequently coming and going. She wants you to keep a low profile. After all, you did run errands for her in the past. If any foreign Immortal Beings file a complaint that reaches the Western Queen Mother’s ears, it would be inconvenient for her…”

Before she could finish speaking, Zhi Nv spotted the young Fusang girl in Du Yu’s vehicle.

“You…” Sister Zhi froze. “Am I too late?”

“Far too late,” Du Yu shook his head. “Not only did I pick up a foreign girl, but I also got chased by the Black and White Impermanence the entire way. Countless people on the road have seen us.”

“Something like this actually happened?” Zhi Nv was so frightened she was speechless. “You’re on your own, Kid… Just pretend I never saw you today…”

“Hey! Don’t go!” Du Yu watched Zhi Nv’s rapidly departing figure and shook his head helplessly. “You are my beloved ‘Machete Sister Zhi’, yet you abandoned me in an instant just to escape being struck by lightning…”

Du Yu turned his head and was startled once again. To his surprise, there was another youth flying alongside the other side of the vehicle.

The person had dreadlocks and wore a red veil over his face.

“Yo, God of Driving! You’ve been driving faster and faster lately!”

“Holy crap! Nezha, are you trying to scare me to death?” Du Yu shouted. “How many times have I told you not to call me Big Brother! It messes up the hierarchy! Also, why are all of you appearing and disappearing like ghosts? Don’t you need to be in Heaven? What are you doing strolling around the Underworld?”

“Hey, God of Driving, you caused such a huge commotion, I had no choice but to come take a look. When are you going to teach me the technique of drifting in place?”

“I…” Du Yu sighed deeply, thought for a moment, and said, “How about this, you buy a minivan just like mine, and first go to ‘Gunma Prefecture’ to challenge all the downhill mountain roads. If you can conquer the entire prefecture, I’ll teach you how to drift in place.”

“‘Gunma Prefecture’? Alright! I’ll go right now!” Having received his orders, Nezha shot up into the sky and quickly disappeared.

The Fusang girl stared blankly at all this and said, “Senior… You seem to be a very formidable figure… Even the Nezha recorded in myths comes to you to learn how to drive?”

“I can’t believe you actually bought that… He saw me skidding in place once and insisted that I was drifting in place. Ever since then, he’s been coming to me for advice all day long. I really have no other choice.”

The Fusang girl thought for another moment and said, “But isn’t Gunma Prefecture in our Fusang? Why did you ask him to go to Gunma Prefecture to conquer the downhill mountain roads?”

“Because there is an expert tofu delivery driver in Gunma Prefecture… Why are you talking so much nonsense?!”

Du Yu increased the horsepower and continued to weave wildly through the pedestrian street. Before long, the girl in the back truly couldn’t take it anymore.

“S-Senior…” the Fusang girl called out weakly. “Are we there yet? I really, really want to throw up…”

“We’re almost there, almost there!”

He drove the Fusang girl around the Three Lifetimes Stone Pedestrian Street for many more laps until even he was incredibly dizzy, before finally parking the vehicle in a small alleyway.

“Blergh!!!!” The Fusang girl threw up uncontrollably as soon as she got out of the vehicle.

Although Du Yu also felt like throwing up, he still smiled and asked, “How is it? Is the scenery of Huaxia beautiful?”

“S… Senior… If at all possible, I never want to ride in your vehicle ever again…”

Du Yu looked up and noticed a cafe in front of him named ‘Bitter Wait’.

“To compensate for my customer’s emotional distress, your Brother Yu is feeling charitable today. I’ll take you to get some coffee and rest.”

“Really?” the Fusang girl asked. “Does it cost money?”

“You won’t have this kind of good luck for the next ten years. It’s my treat today.”

“Really?”

As soon as Du Yu entered the door, he saw that the boss of this shop was a very tall girl. She had a beautiful face and a slender figure, and was dressed in a suit of armor from the Warring States period. Right now, she had a serious expression on her face as she piped frosting onto a cake on the counter.

Seeing someone enter, the girl looked up, very politely gave Du Yu a slight bow, and then continued making the cake.

“Wow, this boss lady is so tall…”

“She is indeed very tall. A’xiang, you go in first. I’ll go lock the vehicle,” Du Yu said.

“Oh, okay, Senior…” The Fusang girl paused for a moment. “Wait, Senior, how did you know my name…”

But when she turned around, she discovered that Du Yu had already disappeared.

Du Yu arrived beside his vehicle, bent over, and vomited.

“Blergh!!!”

He threw up for a long time before recovering his senses. Leaning against the wall, he slowly said, “Driving an illegal Ferry Vehicle is really hard work. Who can stand being like this all day? It seems I really need to go seek refuge with the ‘Underworld Soul Management Bureau’ as soon as possible…”

He turned his head and discovered that he had thrown up a triangular Talisman.

A cold smirk slowly appeared on the corner of Du Yu’s mouth, and a hint of fiery light flared up in his eyes.

In just a moment’s time, the Talisman was burned to Ashes by an unknown liquid flame.

The sky transitioned into dusk, the setting sun undeniably beautiful.

He adjusted his clothes and walked toward the cafe called ‘Bitter Wait’.

After all, there was an important person waiting for him in that shop.

…

I stand at the crossroads of eternity, drinking the wine of Time.

I toast to the remainder of my life, my original intentions unchanged, fortunate to have a confidant who shares my sorrows.

I toast to the twists and turns of the mortal realm, disregarding whatever newcomers may claim I seek.

I smile watching the Immortal Deities roam unfettered, and smile again that they know no sorrow.

I lament the karma of human life, and lament again that the myriad versions of myself lack freedom.

I only wish to be a wild ghost for a moment, no longer coveting eternity.