Legend Management Bureau Chapter 148

[ … words ]

“Du Yu, according to the documents I gave you, Izanagi and Izanami really did say that,” Qu Xi said to Du Yu with an awkward expression. “The current events are unfolding exactly as the legends recorded.”

“Holy crap…” Du Yu’s face looked dreadful. In his mind, ‘Creator Gods’ absolutely shouldn’t act like this…

Everyone stared at the image, watching as Izanami said hesitantly, “Brother, we shouldn’t do this.”

“That’s true, brother and sister shouldn’t do such things.” Izanagi lowered his head, pondering something.

Du Yu stared intently at the screen, getting the distinct feeling that they were about to say something completely unexpected again.

“I’ve got it, sister.” Izanagi seemed to have thought of a brilliant idea. He smiled at Izanami and said, “Let’s walk around this Heavenly Pillar. I’ll go from the left, and you go from the right. If we meet on the other side, it means the ‘Gods’ approve of us reproducing and creating humanity.”

Du Yu was utterly speechless. “How the hell could they not meet? Izanagi is just making up random excuses at this point…”

“Senior Du Yu! You cannot be disrespectful to the great god Izanagi!” Shiranui Asuka reached out and shoved Du Yu slightly. “The legend is already on the right track!”

“Does that mean we can leave now? You call this a creation myth? There’s absolutely no challenge to it,” Du Yu said helplessly.

“Is there even room for accidents? Aren’t these two just going to be mating day and night from here on out?”

Qu Xi recalled the legends of Izanagi and spoke up, “There really are a lot of risky points. For example, the Death of Izanami and the Great Battle Between Izanagi and Izanami. It would be best if we could keep those events under control.”

“What the heck?!” Du Yu was taken aback. “If I heard that right, Izanagi beat Izanami to death?”

“Of course not.” Shiranui Asuka giggled. “How could the great god Izanagi be so heartless? Izanami naturally died first, and only then did the Great Battle Between Izanagi and Izanami happen.”

“Say no more…” Du Yu sighed. “If you say another word, my brain is going to crash again. Just tell me what we need to do next.”

Shiranui Asuka did not reply; she simply pointed at the projection. In the image, Izanagi walked from the left and Izanami from the right. The two circled the Heavenly Pillar and quickly met on the opposite side.

Both of their faces were slightly flushed, feeling too awkward to know what to say.

At that moment, Izanami finally spoke.

“Wow, what a handsome man!”

“Ugh!” Du Yu almost threw up. “Izanagi probably hasn’t washed his face since the day he was born. How is he handsome?”

But the moment Izanami’s words faded, Izanagi’s appearance instantly transformed. His messy, unkempt hair grew smooth and flowing, and his rugged, uneven face became refined. He now had thick eyebrows, large eyes, and perfectly sculpted features.

“I almost forgot these two had this kind of ability…”

Hearing Izanami’s compliment, Izanagi immediately responded, “What a beautiful woman!”

Right after that, Izanami’s appearance also underwent a drastic change. In the time it took to rub one’s eyes, the formerly savage-looking Izanami blossomed into a breathtaking, radiant beauty.

The two then embraced, and Shiranui Asuka hurriedly turned off the projection.

“Huh?” Du Yu was startled. “What are you doing, Asuka? We were just getting to the good part.”

“No, no, no.” Shiranui Asuka shook her head. “Children shouldn’t see what happens next.”

“Children?” Du Yu asked in confusion. “What children are here?”

“What do you mean, no children?” Shiranui Asuka said anxiously. “Earlier in the Greek Domain, I was so terrified that I forgot to ask your Legend Administration to pause the broadcast. I saw quite a few children among your deities.”

“Why don’t I remember that?” Du Yu thought carefully. Were there really children among the immortals?

“Just from what I remember, there was one holding a golden furnace and another holding a silver one. The two of them were following an old man. Then there was another one with their face covered by a red veil, wearing a pair of roller skates. These guys look like they’re barely past ten years old, right? They absolutely cannot watch such scenes!”

Du Yu smiled wryly. The ones holding the golden and silver furnaces were clearly Taishang Laojun’s Golden and Silver Furnace Boys. Not only were they not children, but a few hundred years ago, they had descended to the mortal realm as the Golden Horn and Silver Horn Demon Kings. As for the trendy teenage hero with the red veil over his face… he was probably thousands of years old.

“Forget it, forget it…” Du Yu shook his head. “Like I always say, your turf, your rules. If you don’t want them to watch, then they won’t watch.”

Not long after, Shiranui Asuka felt that enough time had passed, so she reopened the projection. Izanagi and Izanami were busy straightening their clothes.

“Are they done?” Du Yu asked.

“Yeah.” Shiranui Asuka nodded. “It looks like they’ve finished.”

Izanagi and Izanami snuggled against each other, seemingly lost in thought. A short while later, Izanami spoke up.

“Brother, how exactly are babies born?”

“Ah!” Shiranui Asuka cried out in dismay upon hearing this. “I forgot to explain the mechanics of childbirth to them!”

Du Yu was taken aback. “Does that really need to be explained?”

“Um… Senior Zhan Qisheng!” Shiranui Asuka turned to look at Zhan Qisheng. “Your movement skills are quite fast. Could you fly over there right now and tell them how babies are born?”

“Huh?” A trace of embarrassment appeared on Zhan Qisheng’s face. “Could I maybe sit this one out?”

“You’re our only hope right now!” Shiranui Asuka said in a panic. “If they start letting their imaginations run wild, there’s no telling what kind of consequences it might bring!”

“But as for the mechanics of making babies… I am not entirely clear on the details myself…” Zhan Qisheng looked at Shiranui Asuka awkwardly. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to explain it clearly…”

“Pfft!” Du Yu had to try incredibly hard to suppress his laughter. How could a dignified and majestic man like Zhan Qisheng not even know how babies were made?

“It doesn’t matter, you just need to give them a general idea. They can rely on their own Mind Manifestation Art for the rest!”

“Well… alright…” Zhan Qisheng nodded reluctantly. He launched himself into the air and flew straight toward Onogoro Island.

Mere moments later, Zhan Qisheng appeared in the projection. He walked slowly toward Izanagi and Izanami, clearing his throat along the way as if trying to organize his thoughts.

“Ah! One of the gods!” Izanami cried out.

“Yes… I… I have come this time to…” Zhan Qisheng found himself momentarily at a loss for words. “…to tell you how a child is born…”

Upon hearing this, both of them immediately widened their eyes in anticipation.

Zhan Qisheng gritted his teeth, deciding to just throw caution to the wind. If they didn’t successfully produce a child, who knew how many people would die? Stomping his foot and steeling his resolve, he declared:

“After you mate, a child will just plop right out of the woman’s body.”

Du Yu furrowed his brows. Zhan Qisheng sounded like he had just heard this from someone else, hadn’t he? How could his explanation be so dangerously vague?

“Yingning! That’s not right!” Du Yu suddenly realized something. “With Zhan Qisheng explaining it like that, they could interpret it in countless different ways. If they get it wrong, it’s going to be a disaster. Hurry and take me over there!”

Yingning materialized with an impatient scowl, grabbing Du Yu with one hand. “What do you take me for? A taxi?”

Du Yu looked at Yingning sheepishly, feeling a sense of deja vu. He swore someone down in the Underworld had asked him a very similar question.

By the time Du Yu landed on the island, he was a step too late. Izanami was squatting on the ground as if she were using the toilet, and with a wet squelch, a child popped out.

“Oh my god!” Du Yu screamed, his jaw dropping. “This Mind Manifestation Art is absolutely terrifying!”

He rushed over and saw that she had genuinely given birth to a baby. The infant’s eyes were squeezed shut, and its tiny body was covered in blood.

“This!” Du Yu panicked as he scooped up the infant. “What do I do now? I don’t know the first thing about delivering a baby! What are you supposed to do after it comes out?”

As he frantically cried out, the various immortals watching the broadcast quickly began offering their advice. Countless chat messages flooded the screen, and Dong Qianqiu hastily picked out a few to read to Du Yu.

“Du Yu! One of the immortals suggested checking the baby’s nose and mouth first to see if there are any obstructions.”

“Got it!” Du Yu carefully pried open the baby’s mouth and checked its nose, finding no blockages. “What next, Sister Qianqiu?”

“Another immortal says you need to pat the baby’s bottom a few times to make it cry.”

“Right, right, right!” Du Yu hurriedly patted the baby’s bottom. A few seconds later, the baby let out a loud cry and started wailing.

It had to be said that the newborn was incredibly ugly. Its eyes were swollen, its skin was all wrinkled, and it was still coated in blood. Now that it was crying, it looked even more horrifying.

“What an ugly child!” Izanagi suddenly remarked. “Is this our baby?”

Izanami also stared at the infant and added, “It really is so ugly! It doesn’t look human at all. It looks like a…”

Du Yu, who was busy trying to coax the baby, hadn’t expected the two beside him to suddenly chime in. In that instant, an overwhelming sense of dread washed over him.

“Oh no! Don’t you guys dare…”

But before Du Yu could finish his sentence, Izanami blurted out the rest of her thought.

“Like a filthy leech!”

As soon as those words left her mouth, the infant in Du Yu’s arms began to squirm violently. Right before his eyes, the living, breathing human baby instantly transformed into a massive, eight-pound leech. It was pitch black, glistening, and completely covered in viscous slime.

“Holy mother!” Du Yu recoiled in terror, violently shaking his hands and tossing the creature onto the ground.

Watching the colossal leech writhe incessantly in the dirt, Du Yu felt a surge of explosive fury.

“Can the two of you just shut the hell up?!”